Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize