Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He better not be in your backpack
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
