You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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