my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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