he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
