I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
