I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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