Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
