I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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