I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize