Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
