I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
