He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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