so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
