wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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