Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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