Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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