She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I deserve this hangover.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
