i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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