I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I want is dick and wine.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
