That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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