that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
