i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
