so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
