OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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