Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
BRING THE BAGELS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
