I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
