I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
