I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
