Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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