Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Randomize