the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
