Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
