You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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