there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
