hell yes lets make some ravioli
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
