just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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