Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
