I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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