weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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