Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
