dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
