Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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