New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
