guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
