put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we're so committed to being not committed
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
