Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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