were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
