We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
How's work?
Spinning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
