Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
