My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
