Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
