Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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