and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
