he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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