if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
