She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
