My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
