I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize