so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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