Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
