Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
