I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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