Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
