Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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